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The Loch Ness Monster Answers 10 Questions

Yahoo reported that Apple Maps may have confirmed the existence of the Loch Ness Monster by capturing an satellite image of a creature they say is the Loch Ness Monster. I, Sativa Sue, a beautiful bud of marijuana who happens to publish interviews with inanimate objects like New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s Blue Fleece, President [...]

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More Obamacare Cartoons

The statists are claiming Obamacare is now a success. Needless to say, I think this is a laughable assertion. Indeed, I shared a very clever graphic from Ted Cruz to help explain why it’s hardly a big achievement to destabilize the insurance market and then coerce and/or bribe some people into using Obamacare. More recently, […]

Continue reading More Obamacare Cartoons

More Obamacare Cartoons

The statists are claiming Obamacare is now a success. Needless to say, I think this is a laughable assertion. Indeed, I shared a very clever graphic from Ted Cruz to help explain why it’s hardly a big achievement to destabilize the insurance market and then coerce and/or bribe some people into using Obamacare. More recently, […]

Continue reading More Obamacare Cartoons

Louie, Louie, Yeah!

Hold the presses.  In a Tales exclusive, we have a trailer for the yet to be completed or started Animal House 2014.  In a surprising move, Tales has learned that the producers will change the setting of the movie out of the college dorm…

Continue reading Louie, Louie, Yeah!

Louie, Louie, Yeah!

Hold the presses.  In a Tales exclusive, we have a trailer for the yet to be completed or started Animal House 2014.  In a surprising move, Tales has learned that the producers will change the setting of the movie out of the college dorm…

Continue reading Louie, Louie, Yeah!

Outlandish Statements From Brendan Eich?

With the recent firing of the Tales law firm/information gatherers of Wie, Cheatem and Howe because of some unfortunate tips to the Tales editorial board that did not meet the Tales high standards of excellence, the Tales has had to hire the well respected by most, err many, err some, err me, of Ari, Yew, Kidd and Mee.   This hiring has already paid off.  Ari, Yew, Kidd and Mee has come up with the real ugliness from Brendan Eich that has shocked the Tales as we have been a strong supporter of Eich and his free speech right expressed by his donation in support of Prop 8.

Yes, the Tales was fooled in thinking that there was a firestorm over Brendan Eich just because of one small donation in support of California’s Prop 8 in 2008.  Along with most people, Tales was outraged at Mr. Eich being forced out as CEO of Mozilla just because he made a donation 6 years ago to a cause he believed in.  Everyone might rethink that outrage at Mr. Eich’s ouster when they learn of the ugly statements Eich made in 2008 and before that accompanied his donation.  Thank you Ari, Yew, Kidd and Mee for this discovery of the statements coming out of this evil man’s mouth.

Here are those statements.  Let’s see if you now change your mind about Mr. Hyde…I mean, Mr. Eich.

Tales warning:  These statements cannot be read by anyone under the age of 16 without parental accompaniment. 

1.  In January of 2000 I bet you didn’t know this ugly statement was made: 
“Marriage has got historic, religious and moral content that goes back to the beginning of time and I think a marriage is as a marriage has always been, between a man and a woman.”


2.  In 2008 can you believe Eich said this: that he “did not believe same-sex couples should be allowed to marry.”

3.  Again in 2008, this intolerance was said:  “I do not support redefining from a civil side what constitutes marriage. I do not support that. That is basically the decision to be left to faiths and people who practice their faiths the determination what you call it”.  [notice how he slyly brings religion into the matter, like that means anything--like he was going to fool us]

4.  With that unbelievable intolerance shown from that last statement, he was given a chance to redeem himself as he was asked again if he believed in gay marriage, but this man doubled down in insensitivity when he said loudly: “No!”

5. In one of the most intolerant statements made by any human being since the beginning of time, this man said in 2008:  “I believe that marriage is the union between a man and a woman. Now, for me as a Christian…it is also a sacred union. God’s in the mix.”

Look at that.  Can you believe this man not only brought religion into the matter he had the gall to say “God is in the mix”.  We are talking about 2008, the 21st century and God is actually mentioned.  So, do you really want to continue to support Brendan Eich?

Hold it!  Wait a second!   I have just been given this urgent message from the Tales ombudsman Mr. Bigmouth that I must read immediately.  … 

Well, how can I put this gently.   There is no way to ease out of this, Tales must just blurt out the embarrassing truth.  Once again, even with the Tales supposed more reliable new law firm, it has happened again.  

Those statements listed above were not made by Brendan Eich.  None of them.  In fact, here is the list of who actually made those statement given to us by the Tales ombudsman. 

Statement 1 was made by Hillary Clinton

Statement 2 was made by Hillary Clinton

Statement 3 was made by Joe Biden

Statement 4 was made by Joe Biden

Statement 5 was made by Barack Hussein Obama

Well let’s look at it this way.  Even though Mr. Brendan Eich did not make these statements at the same time he was donating money to Proposition 8 in support of traditional marriage and against same sex marriage, can we really trust a man who had the exact same position at the time as Barack Obama, Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton? 

Mr. Bigmouth, can you please connect us on the phone with either Wie, Cheatem or Howe and let them know it was all an April Fool’s Day joke and that they weren’t fired after all.  … 

What do you mean they won’t take our call?
 

Continue reading Outlandish Statements From Brendan Eich?